i discovered Abena after I was in my fourth 12 months on the College. She was in her second 12 months. We had a three-day coaching program on campus and she or he was there all through. That was the place she caught my consideration, very elegant and eloquent. Once we talked the primary time, she gave me the impression of a lady who doesn’t have time for males. As time went on, she mellowed till we grew to become good pals. Being pals together with her wasn’t the ultimate vacation spot however it gave me the chance to know who she actually was and what her desires had been. She didn’t need a lot in life; “Simply to make it in my chosen profession and construct a household I can come residence to when my profession stresses me.” 

Other than the love I had for her, I additionally fell in love together with her lifestyle, very agency however easygoing once you get to know her very nicely. When it got here to the expression of emotions, she all the time had a poker face on. I couldn’t inform how she was feeling for me. Not like me, my feelings had been all over and at any given alternative, I let her know that I liked her. In the future I ended appearing it out and spoke my thoughts; “I need you to be my girlfriend. That’s what I’d all the time wished proper from the start. Right here I’m, telling you what’s on my coronary heart for you. What do you say?” 

Her reply was, “OK.” 

“OK? OK, what?”

“You mentioned you need me to be your girlfriend, proper? So OK.” 

“Which means you’ve accepted my proposal?”

“That’s precisely what OK means.” 

A semester later, I accomplished college and left campus. We had been each scared. We thought we had been going to lose what we had. We had been simply budding lovers and had been scared the brand new climate in our lives was going to shrink our leaves. We made guarantees. Guarantees like, “I gained’t depart you, it doesn’t matter what. I’ll do the whole lot to have us collectively as a substitute of aside.”

We stored the guarantees. We had been aside however all the time discovered methods and means to be linked with one another. I had began a brand new job in a city not too removed from Accra when the lockdown was introduced. Two days earlier than the lockdown, she packed her issues and travelled to lock down with me. That ought to have been the happiest day of our lives however I began noticing behaviours that made it tough for me to see a future in her. 

Abena will sleep till she smells the aroma of what I used to be cooking earlier than she’s going to get up. She’ll eat and depart the dishes there till I inform her to scrub them. We stayed for nearly two weeks, she by no means cleaned something in the home. My room shared a bathroom and bathtub with two different tenants so cleansing the washroom and bathroom was shared duty. My co-tenants had their girlfriends doing it for them every time it was their flip however when it received to my flip, I needed to go and clear it myself. She noticed me doing it however didn’t care. It was like that till she lastly left.

I liked her an excessive amount of to name her behaviour a crimson flag. I informed myself, “Once we marry, I’ll mould her to go well with the wants of the wedding.” I proposed marriage to her final 12 months and she or he accepted. I assumed that may change her however it didn’t. She’ll go to me and gained’t contact something till I complain. Her newest excuse is, “I like it when my man does issues like that for me. It makes me really feel liked.” I requested her, “Does it imply it’s going to stay like this after marriage?” She informed me, “In fact not. Marriage is totally different. It’s a lifetime factor so I can’t watch my husband do all that for me day-after-day till loss of life do us half.” 

I nonetheless liked her and couldn’t think about my world with out her in it. In March this 12 months, we did our knocking ceremony and began getting ready for marriage. 

At the moment, we don’t stay collectively. She works in a special area however we see one another twice a month. When there’s an extended vacation, we spend it collectively. 

Not too way back, I met a younger girl on the town and we grew to become pals. She’s a twenty-three-years previous pupils’ trainer in a faculty not removed from the place I work. Our friendship didn’t final. Sooner or later, feelings developed and I proposed to her and she or he accepted. It’s this girl who’s at the moment turning my world round. She’s the one whose angle is telling me that I deserve higher than I have already got in Abena.  

The primary time she got here to my home, she informed me, “Permit me to repair this place for you.” She wasn’t even my girlfriend then. Simply inside an hour, my room was trying like a brand new place I’d rented. The next weekend, Abena came visiting. She noticed my room and mentioned, “For the primary in our relationship, you cleaned your room in anticipation of my go to. You deserve two rounds for that.” 

By the point she was leaving, my place was in a multitude once more. I needed to push her earlier than she would clear the kitchen she herself used. It’s not like that with my new girlfriend. I don’t should say something. When she comes round, the whole lot appears to be like higher. My life will get a special rhythm in her presence. She’s very hardworking, simply that her household doesn’t have it so she’s having it powerful in life. 

She needs to go to school however there’s no cash. It’s the explanation she’s educating to boost cash for varsity. I’m saving for marriage. Each penny I put down has marriage written on it however the lady I’m going to marry isn’t price it. Slowly, my thoughts has shifted to this new woman and she or he’s the one I need to calm down with. 

I informed her the opposite time, “When the kinds come out, I’ll purchase them for you. No matter you’ve, I’ll prime up so that you can go to highschool and I’ll assist till you’re completed.” I’m decided to make use of the cash I’m saving for marriage to assist this new woman to go to highschool. Normally, my conscience pricks me after I’m doing one thing flawed however this time round, I don’t really feel any guilt by any means about what I’m about to do. This new woman is the helper that I have to make it on this life. Abena needs a person who will clear after her whereas she’s busy queening round. I’m not that man. I’m prepared to assist however to not the extent that Abena needs it. 

My solely drawback now could be find out how to let Abena go. We’ve come far, particularly with the knocking that we did. Household is concerned now and it complicates issues a bit bit. Her dad and mom love me like their very own. They are going to name me from time to time to inform me that they’re praying for me. Her mother will inform me, “I do know God is working miracles in your life. Very quickly, it can manifest for us to have an excellent wedding ceremony and a lovely marriage. God is preventing in your aspect so don’t fear.” Her dad too will usually name and provides me the identical motivation. My dad and mom are so in love with Abena that I don’t suppose I can change their minds that simply. If I even succeed to make them perceive, I don’t suppose they’ll open their hearts wholly to the subsequent lady in my life. They’ll endlessly see her as the lady who I left Abena for and that ain’t honest to this new woman.

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